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Each year, we set out so excited for all the possibilities when we set our goals or New Year’s Resolutions. But then that sneaky self-sabotage rears it’s ugly head and our goals get side tracked. In this post, I will outline the steps teaching you how to not self-sabotage your New Year’s Resolutions.
Writing things down is a powerful weapon to get what you want.
Writing on paper is my number one defense against goal self-sabotage. By having your resolutions on paper, you quadruple your efforts and all of the pieces fall right into place.
Just the other day, my eight-year-old son said to me, “Mom, I didn’t even realize it, but I got everything on my want list.” “Of course you did son, it’s because you wrote it down.” “But Mom, nobody even saw my list to get the things for me.” I told him, “No one had to, when you write things down you make things happen.
I don’t buy a whole lot of things for my children, and I prefer not to be asked for things when we are in a store, so I gave them each a book, and I wrote on the cover, “My Want Book”.
I put a little inscription inside the book telling them they can have, do, and be anything they want by writing it down.
If you read my previous post How To: Planning Your Way to Success you can see I am a firm believer of writing the vision. It tells you how to get what you want by planning it out and why it’s so important to write your plans.
Writing things down really works, which is why I love setting my goals for the year and keeping them in front of me watching them happen!
This year I have decided to make a cute painting to go with my goals, then I can frame it and hang it on the wall. This way, every time I walk past the paining containing my goals, I get a reminder to make things happen!
So, if we can have, be, and do anything we want, what keeps up from achieving our goals?
Two words self-sabotage. I did a little digging on self-sabotage and came across a great video by Maria Forleo explaining why we self-sabotage and she said that we all have a certain level of comfort when it comes to success.
Who knew that there was a personal level of comfort for success?
When you see successful people, they may have had an easier time with success than most because they believed they deserved the best, they deserved to be successful, and they were probably comfortable reaching their level of success. If they were not comfortable with success, they found a way to overcome it.
.Wherever you are for a period of time in success is your own glass ceiling of comfort.
I suppose that is why it is called a “comfort zone”, it’s a place you are comfortable. When we reach out of our comfort zone, that is where we can accomplish a higher level of success.
Do you find yourself quitting? Do you ruin your best efforts every time? Do you start multiple projects and don’t finish them? Perhaps you are sabotaging yourself?
.Recently I came to realize, that I was self-sabotaging this blog.
I’ve always been a writer, I love helping people, and my dream is to work from home full-time, while still keeping my day job part-time. On some level, I have had some consciousness about leaving my comfort zone, but I guess I was not allowing myself to really be aware of it (How’s that for self-sabotage?).
.There are so many areas in life where we can stretch our limits of comfort, finances, creativity, business, the list goes on and on.
People can self-sabotage with relationships too. They pick some person who is wrong for them instead of finding the right person for a successful relationship. Finding the right mate is one of the most important things we can choose in this world.
Signs of self-sabotage manifesting:
- Procrastination – the avoidance of important tasks
- A feeling of running away and hiding
- Shutting down
- Getting physically ill
I read a very telling and interesting article by Jennifer LeClaire detailing the spiritual reason why we self-sabotage called The Sneaky Spirit of Sabotage is seeking to destroy you.
How can we turn these feelings of inadequacy around?
- The first thing to do to overcome self-sabotage so you can achieve your goals is to recognize that you have a problem. Keep the reality of sabotage in front of your mind so that when you start doing it, you can get right back on track.
- Prove the haters wrong. Did someone say you couldn’t do it? You show them! Turn it around and push back. You are a fighter, and right now you are fighting for your life. The life you want and deserve, a life of success and fulfillment.
- Start a new mantra. Replace the doubts and negative self-talk by saying “I am successful.” or “I finish what I start”.
- Create a nice inspiring office space. It doesn’t have to be an entire room, perhaps a corner of the kitchen, or even a spot in your bedroom. Don’t procrastinate by decorating and organizing your office, but you can put some time in the schedule to create your perfect workspace.
- It all starts with a plan, write your plan and follow it! Are you the type of person who likes to make lists and finds satisfaction in checking things off of it? Do what type of planning that fits your style to break through your comfort zone.
We put up obstacles so that the life we really want is out of reach. We do it to ourselves. We all do this on some level. You don’t need to stay in your old comfort zone, you can break on through to the other side.
Here are some tips I used to help break through my comfort zone:
- Bills to pay? Set a time to get to bill paying. Give yourself an hour or whatever it takes to get everything together and then just pay them. If you are scattered with bills all over the place, grab a folder and as those bills come, put them into it. You don’t even have to open them. Set them aside and open them on bill paying day.
- Finances disorganized? Use a budgeting tool to get your finances into order. We don’t need to be perfect, I like to use everydollar.com because it’s so user-friendly I need things to be simple to use or I won’t use them.If you plan the day and time to set up the budget, it will get done. Do it the same day or around the same day every month.When you have a budget in place, you can plan for the craft hauls, plan for the clothing shopping sprees, and spend that money guilt free!
- Having trouble planning? I fall out of sync from time to time with my planning, when that happens, I just dust myself off, grab my planner and start planning! If I don’t plan my day, it gets away from me. Make planning fun, put on some music and enjoy the moment. I dress up my planner a bit with accessories and doodles because who doesn’t like to look at pretty things?
- Know when you need help. I know some people seem so perfect, they have it all together and we are struggling. Not everything is as it appears, or perhaps they really do have it all together! The best thing to do is focus on yourself and not worry about anyone else’s accomplishments. If they have it going on, be happy for them and maybe they can give you some advice.
- Find someone to make you accountable. An area I have been struggling with is my weight, I have decided to enlist the help of my doctor for some accountability.
I like to theme each year, and for me the year of 2017 is going to be “A year of new beginnings.”.
I’m really excited to see where this year takes me, as long as I plan, I will accomplish all of my goals and plans. We don’t need to be perfect, we just have to do our best, and overcome that self-sabotage to achieve the kind of success that makes us uncomfortable. Who’s with me?